Latin Small-Talk During a Colonoscopy.....

'Collocutio Inter Colonoscopiam'-

Nunc novi quid Manipupa sentiat
Now I know how a Muppet feels

Conspicisne metallicos sepultos?
Any sign of the trapped miners?

Advenistine? Advenistine? Advenistine?
Are you there yet? Are you there yet? Are you there yet?

Potesne mihi testimonium impertire adfirmans caput meum reapse non infixum esse podici?
Could you provide me with an affidavit stating that my head is not, in fact, up there?

The Biology of a Colonoscopy

For those of you who wished to be well informed in anticipation of Jon's return from hospital

Another picture of Jon for your viewing pleasure (or horror)

In Memory of Him.....

Today's post is a special one dedicated to the late Jon Wayman (okay he's not dead) who was taken into hospital yesterday after reacting quite badly to some medication he had been taking for his tonsilitis. This is more poignant for me, since I spent most of the past weekend ridiculing him for being a hypochondriac. Hopefully he will be out soon, but in the mean time, his friends can take solace by calling to mind all of those quite memorable things which he has said in the past, as well as assuming his role in those situations where it might seem most appropriate to make a particular interjection in the uniquely Jon Wayman fashion.

The Grass Is Always Greener on the Other Side

Having just attended my first Greek lecture for the semester, which was concerned with Theocritus and the genre of poetry which he created, known to us as pastoral or bucolic, I have been reminded of one particular way in which ideas originating in the classical world still manifest themselves today. Our lecturer, Professor Stephen Halliwell, was explaining the paradox that exists between the very simple themes and subject matter of pastoral poetry, i.e. the idyllic life of a goatherd in the countryside, and the very sophisticated language which Theocritus uses to explore these in his poetry. This paradox becomes more accute when you take into account that Theocritus was writing for an elite, urbane audience, which saw country life as preferable to its own. The same is surely true in today's society, and is particularly evident in Great Britain- we have the tendency to idealise the way of life in different settings, countries and cultures, and to look upon our own with contempt. As someone who has lived in another country, I can honestly say that I feel fortunate to be living once again in Great Britain, which indeed offers many things which we often take for granted.

Fickle Football Fans

Was anyone actually surprised when they heared that Graeme Souness had been sacked as manager of Newcastle United F.C.? I for one was not. It seems to me that ever since taking over from Bobby Robson in 2004, Souness' journey with Newcastle was bound to end in tears. Is there anyone who can claim that N.U.F.C.'s decision to appoint Souness was not ill conceived and doomed to failure from the outset? Not only does he have very few credentials as a football manager, but at the time of his appointment he was managing a struggling Blackburn team, which, since the incumbency of Mark Hughes, has proved itself to be an extremely competitive team. Newcastle will bounce back- a fact that seems evident to me when considering some of the quality in the team. I just hope that when he finally does decide on a new manager, Freddy Shepherd will use a little more wisdom, and perhaps not limit himself to an English manager. If the latter is not possible, I believe that Paul Jewell or Martin O'Neill are more than qualified for the job.

C.U. Hoodies

Just arrived back in St. Andrews....anyone who wants a C.U. hoodie let me know ASAP